. . .
Newsletter*
Why Do I Continue to Accept Less?
Living in a World of Violence
It seems as though everywhere we turn there is some level of violence. Road rage, a customer yelling at the customer service representative, children fighting, and the horrible reports of murder, assault, burglary, rape, arson, child abuse, ect are all results of our aggressive and violent society. Why has society departed from the ways of kindness, servitude, civil duty?
For many individuals aggression is hard to escape, as it originates in our own home. Are you living with a person that abuses you physically, emotionally/mentally/verbally? For many individuals abuse starts very slowly, it may seem unintentional or infrequently. Then words begin to hurt more and more and suddenly you feel as though you are worthless. Suddenly and without a second thought to the intial degradation, the perpetrator then soothes you and blankets you with kind words and possibly even gifts. One may find that they are slowly becoming isolated from friends, family, and activities they once enjoyed. They must now assume a role that has been designated by the perpetrator and they must "aim to please". Words eventually become actions and it is not until you are struck that you realize "I'm being abused!"
Unfortunately for many, the abuse has resignated to their soul and they have been programmed that "I must take this", "there's nothing I can do", "I deserved that", or even "he didn't mean it". The perpetrator has gained control through the systematic breaking of your standards. If you were friends with someone and they constantly put you down and then you began having physical fights with them, would you continue to be friends with them? Most likely not! So why is it that when we give in to this thing called love we suddenly find ourselves excepting things that we said we never would?
Do I love myself? Let's examine this.....
What were your standards and expectations for your life?
What is standing in the way?
Should I sacrifice my happiness to submit to another's control?
Does he/she really love me (wants the best for me, treat me with respect and dignity)?
One must realize that no one can control another person's actions or intent. You can't change him/her. Don't make excuses for their actions.
Contemplation is the first step to change...if you or someone you know finds themselves in this type of relationship, get help now! Time generally does not resolve the issue, it leads to deeper wounds and escalated situations. Individual and Couple Therapy work best to resolve issues stemming from the abusive relationship. However, if you or someone you know are in perceived or actual danger your first step should involve legal help/ protection. Do not stay in a violent relationship! You are worth so much more. Resources that cater to domestic violence can help with the process in addition to police involvement. After safety is ensured then one can begin the healing process. This includes rebuilding the esteem, breaking down chains of destruction, and restoring self value. Intimate Partner Violence affects men and women of all ages.
Resources*:
Area Domestic Violence Meetings http://domesviolence.meetup.com/cities/us/tx/houston/
*The information and resources provided are intended for educational/ informational purposes only. MBHC holds no responsibility for and has no direct or indirect relationship with reources identified on the website or information on linked websites.